I’ve drunk deep of the Life is FOR Us Kool-Aid and am fully on board with the perspective that everything that happens is to support and aid us.

But, depending on which filter we’re perceiving life through, it doesn’t always appear that way. But that’s on us to change how we look at things, not what we’re looking at.

Take, for example, my two sweet friends who have been staying with me for awhile now as they’re looking for a place to live. They’re incredibly diligent in their search but, so far, keep getting turned down. Their feeling, because they understandably want their next place to appear, is that this is frustrating and disappointing. My view, because I’ve been in their shoes several times, is that the right place already exists for them and WILL come… it’s just not available yet.

We all (myself fully included) do this: we want things and we knowingly or unknowingly create expectations based on what we want and when and how we want it. But guess what? The great mystery has it’s own way and timing.

So, what if it IS all happening perfectly? What if the person who dumped you is creating an opening for unknown blessings, empowered discernment, and something so much better to come. The weight you gained is giving you an opportunity to re-stoke your fire through doing some new physical activity that’s more fun than what you’d been up to before bringing increased joy to your life. The boss who keeps harshing you out is there to inspire you to follow through the business idea you’ve been putting off.

You get the picture.

Lemons… Lemonade.

So let’s say that you’d rather not feel so stressed, tense, and/or anxious about the circumstances of your life. What are you going to do?

The model most of us were shown was to live like fear-based control-freaks doing our best to manipulate for what we want while hoping others still perceive us as easy-going enough to be likable.

Yeah, that’s worked out real well.

In the life’s conspiring FOR you school of thought, you could try rolling more like this…

When you get present to the various things in your life that you experience stress about, what if you stopped for a moment and noticed what expectations you’ve been holding that are creating your experience of stress? It’s can be hard to acknowledge, but the stress you’re experiencing comes from you and the beliefs, assumptions, and stories you’re choosing to live inside of, not from life. So what if you then made a bold move and let your expectations go?

The only way we’re each going to be truly happy, in that deep contented soul swooning kind of way, is when we stop pushing and manipulating and meet life on life’s terms. Life’s the leader and we’re the followers. Anyone who’s done partner dancing knows this dynamic is really satisfying – but it’s definitely not graceful or fun when both people try to lead. Someone’s got to give, and when it comes to receiving the magnificent beneficence of life, it’s our turn to soften.