Thing is, you can’t change a pattern until you see it.  So when we look at what’s going on here one of the first things that jumps out is that we each have deeply grooved patterns of reacting to life that keep us locked into identifying with and operating from who we’ve been.  We may think of ourselves in terms of the here-now but our reactions reveal the degree to which we are operating as our historical selves in the here-now, thus unwittingly dragging the past along with us.

Luckily we have the tools we need to break the spell of the past and its hold on us… it’s just a matter of practicing and developing these tools so that we can become increasingly proficient in our ability to use them.  So what are our tools?  Presence and personal responsibility.  Put another way, it’s the ability to relate to what’s happening here-now from the centered place of here-now within us (i.e. not as who we’ve been) and to own, with love, everything we’re experiencing as something that’s coming from within us and that we have choice about.

The power of presence is that it slices through ego’s manipulation of our attention and lands us directly in the simplicity and clarity of what is right now.  No drama.  No blame.  No swirliness.  Instead…  Centered.  Grounded.  Connected.  Clear.  Loving.  Ready.  Presence is like turning on a light in a dimly lit room or letting a jar of dirty water settle.  It separates the ego-dominated mental wheat from the authentic-self chaff.  It brings us right to the center of things and slows everything down giving us the eyes to see the cogs in the machinery of our historical selves and the space to choose how we want respond.

If presence is the key to freedom, then personal responsibility is the force that enables us to turn the key and open the door to the new.  The first step in this new direction is to own that everything we’re thinking and feeling is coming from within us.  Nobody can make us feel anything.  No circumstance can permanently shut us down.  There is nothing that happened that can silence our expression or engagement with life now.  There’s nobody to blame for anything, (especially) including ourselves.  These are all the trappings of the victim identity of the conditioned, historical self and the means through which ego manipulates us to believe that we’re powerless, without choice, and a victim to what’s happening to us.

And here is where we apply the power of personal responsibility for the truth is that we always have a choice.  We get to choose how we perceive situations and how to respond.  We get to choose where we place our attention - on what’s wrong, where we’ve been, on solutions, or where we’re headed.  We get to choose what thoughts, emotions and frequencies we generate.  We get to choose whether we’ll identify with our emotions and stories, resist them, recycle them, or let them move through us.  We get to choose who we want to be.  We always have a choice.  And our ability to choose on the side of personal responsibility and integrity depends on how present we are for when we’re present the range of choice available to us is much broader than when we’re identified with our historical selves.

Like taking apart a watch, we can only disassemble the trappings of our historical selves one step at a time and the only place to begin is where we’re at.  So look at the material life is working with you on right now.  Where is fear or a feeling of helplessness present?  This may be directly felt or hiding behind a veneer of anger, irritation, blame, or distraction.  First look at the situation as your historical self would.  Hear the familiar story, feel the familiar feelings, notice the familiar reaction.  Now get really present.  Imagine peeling off the old, wrinkled face of your historical self, as in this picture from De Es, and looking at it through the eyes of your authentic, present self.  Take every aspect of what’s going on and own the whole thing as your own.  No blame.  No projections.  No victimization.  Nobody’s right, nobody’s wrong.  Just own it - own your part, your behavior, words, projections, denials.  Let yourself feel the emotions within you and allow them to move through.  Drum.  Dance.  Yell.  Run.  Cry.  Whatever it takes - let them move through without attaching to them.  Listen to what your needs are.  Then, break the chain of historical reaction and with presence and clarity, respond.

Bring to each moment the attending awareness that this is an opportunity designed to help you become more proficient at being present and living with responsibility and integrity.  Resist nothing life brings you.  Instead welcome in and own it all.  Start anew each moment.  Free from the past, free from the past, free from the past.

Here.
Now.
Free.

Art: Facing Light by De Es

art: Red Canna by Georgia O’Keeffe

Polarized and stretched tight like a rubber band.
What you push to get to is inextricably shaped by
What you pull and contort yourself to move away from.
You can’t outrun your shadow so
Let. Go. Of. Your. Baggage.

Stop running. Face what has seemed unfaceable. The time is now!
Open the closet door and start clearing it out.
Notice all the sneaky ways you control or settle when tangled up in fear.
Wake up to ego’s manipulation and denial games.
Drop your story.
Take down your walls.
You’re safe.
Soften.
Move beyond by going through.
Yes you can do it.
Yes you can feel it.
Yes you can let it go.
One by one, forgive it all.

Life is conspiring for your success so
Drop your resistance and let life be your partner in this.
Allow challenges and where things do not come together easily to
Reveal what you have been afraid to feel.
Take heartfelt risks to meet you needs and speak up.
It is safe to be vulnerable.
Discover through experience.
A new language in you emerges that
Assists a new level of you coming online.

Forgive
Free yourself from the burden of the past.
Forgive
Free yourself from the way fear shapes you and your experience of life.
Forgive
Free to move forwards.
Forgive
Free to live your life.
Forgive
Free.

: Embodiment :

How do you generate forgiveness?

Think of something or someone that at one time in your life was a source of pain that no longer is.  How did that happen?  Because at some point you forgave them so it’s something that at least a part of you already knows how to do.  Take a moment and let yourself feel the forgiveness you feel within yourself about this person or situation.  Notice what it feels like in your body and heart.  Notice what effect it has on your thoughts.  Practice paying attention to something else and then coming back to it so you can find the “forgiveness button” inside you.  It’s there.

Set yourself free

In your meditations focus on connecting to your emotional body and letting your old feelings come up.  Let your projections and blame reveal where you need to forgive.  Consciously choose to generate forgiveness towards those who you feel hurt by, yourself, and the part of you that does not want to forgive.  Do this from your heart and do it repeatedly.  Set your intention to release the emotions that come up and avoid re-cycling them through getting overly identified with anger or asking “why?” questions.  Keep it simple - forgive.

Throughout the day take every opportunity you get to practice generating forgiveness.  Notice what you’re generating and thinking.  When you find yourself in a cul-de-sac of blame, worry, anxiety, fear or anger do two things: 1) Generate forgiveness towards who or whatever you’re focused on, yourself, and any parts of you that don’t want to forgive.  Give yourself permission to really feel what you feel, forgive, let it go, and move on with your day.  2) Pay attention and become increasingly discerning as to how ego manipulates you through fueling the fire of life-negating emotions and thoughts that relate to the baggage you’re holding onto.  Don’t get too caught up in figuring it out as that will keep you in the hands of ego but do pay attention and wake up to it’s tactics.  Once you see a pattern you can free yourself of it.

…

“As long as you keep a person down,
some part of you has to be down there to hold him down,
so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.”
- Marian Anderson

art: The Path

Embracing your shadow
letting go of what has been
with only the promise of a fulfilled, true life
and your faith in your innate gifts & talents
YOU LEAP
taking huge risks to follow your heart.

With each inch
that you move forward
new avenues appear
and the hand of Spirit
is made visible through the
support, insight, and new opportunities
that are made available to you.
Abundance is ALL around.

Meanwhile,
the worlds continue to part
between those who look in with eyes open
and those who gaze out.
Acknowledgment of what is leads to
compassion and letting go.

Everything is food for your heart…
when you see it that way.

:: Embodiment ::

1. Write a love letter to yourself from the perspective of who you will be 1 year from now. What counsel do you have to offer yourself to support who you are now to spread his/her wings wider and set your sights higher? What practical steps and actions of support do you have to suggest to who you are now to assist with this transition?

2. What do you dream of? What makes your heart sing? Put your hands on your jaw and throat and listen to your inner world. Listening is profound magic for dreams can literally come into being when there is someone listening to them.

…

“Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease and risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”
-John O’Donohue

art: Spirit Vulture by Sylvan Thorncraft

You say you don’t know,
aren’t quite clear yet,
and will figure it out later.
You put off shifting, hold onto your confusion,
and deny your resistance to the truth
as you resign yourself to
feeling stuck.

If you are willing to move forward
then open yourself to the reality that
the answers to your questions and challenges
are being broadcast to you right now.
All you need to hear this guidance
is a willingness to l-i-s-t-e-n
and let go of what you’re holding onto.

The opportunity available to each of us
is the Everyday Vision Quest
where all around you, all within you, all the time
the greater intelligence
is emanating the answers to your questions,
ever guiding you home.

Simple as that?  See for yourself.
Has there ever been a situation in your life
where there weren’t signs guiding your way?

I am
a Listener,
a Seer,
and a willing participant
in the dance of Life.
My eyes are open
and I am ready to receive
all that is here for
me to perceive!

:: Embodiment ::

1.

Take a little stroll through memory lane to explore the way the Life’s signs speak to you.

Pick a situation that has now completed itself but that that you had a difficult time getting to a place of clarity with. Look back on the time period before and during the clarity obtaining process and make a list of all the signs that came to you as Life attempted to guide you.  Make a list of the emotions you were experiencing that made it difficult to perceive and receive Life’s guidance and what this tension felt like in your body. There is a distinct feeling present in each of us when we are in resistance and are instead being influenced and perhaps deluded by our stories. This feeling is an important thing to know about yourself so you can own your emotional patterns and respond to Life’s messages with greater receptivity.  It is equally important that you become familiar with what it feels like when you are in the flow in an aligned and balanced way so look back on situations where that was present too.

2.

Run a daily experiment to strengthen your relationship with Life’s messages to you. Start the day with a question (or two) that you’d like an answer on and then slow down enough so that you can really PAY ATTENTION to what is happening around you because everything is a message. It could be a song you hear, email you receive, quote you come across, book you pick up or are given, animals around you, a random thought that pops in your head, noticing something new or different in your surroundings, a conversation or question someone brings up, persistent feeling, physical sensations, etc.  Life speaks to each of us in a unique that is meaningful to who we are. The key, of course, is to not filter your perception based on what you want to hear but to open yourself to what is actually being said.

…

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.”
~ Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV . 4 . 5

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
~Audre Lord

art: Star of the Hero 1936 by Nicholas Roerich

Like the north star
WELL BEING
Is your spirit’s north point -
a frequency that is ever guiding you
Home.

No matter what you’ve already agreed to
Either with yourself or another person
You don’t have to continue
Unless what you’re participating in
Feels truly good, meaningful, and valuable to You.

You are not on a conveyor belt.
No matter how compelling
The internal and external arguments, programs, and expectations are
To Just. Keep. Going.
You not only have permission
But are being INVITED
By Life to
STOP.
Be honest with yourself.
Assess.
Simplify.
Release what’s not working.
And re-engage in your life in a way that makes you shine with well-being.

Let it be easy -
Live your life as a reflection of who you are now
and who you want to be.

:: Embodiment ::

Option 1: Listening to and honoring your feeling body

Take a piece of paper and write down all the connections, agreements, projects, exchanges, habits, etc. in your life on small individual sheets of paper.  Place your papers face down at arm’s length in front of you.

Before proceeding bring yourself to a point of stillness and clarity through taking time to meditate.  Close your eyes, breathe deep, and if it helps, imagine yourself rooting down into the Earth, attuning to her vibration.

When you feel centered, keep your eyes closed, reach out, pick up the first sheet of paper and look at it. What’s your first reaction?  Close your eyes and scan through your body. What physical sensations do you feel? What emotions are related to these sensations? If the sensations are not what you experience as well-being, ask the parts of your body where you are experiencing sensation to tell or show you what is needed to shift this area of your life so that you can experience well-being. Be open to whatever comes, trusting your feeling body to guide you to what is most in alignment with who you are now. Write down what you noticed without any story or judgment, simply noting and acknowleding what you feel about this facet of your life.

When you’ve received what your feeling body needs to express, put the sheet of paper down, close your eyes, and come back to center. When you feel still again repeat the above process. Continue doing this until you’ve felt into all the pieces of paper you wrote on. You can break the process up or do it all at once.

When you’re complete, thank all the parts of yourself who showed up. Then, begin taking action on what came to you.

Option 2: Writing exercise

Using stream of consciousness writing, let your pen move along the paper (or fingers on the keyboard) answering one, any, or all of these questions. Let yourself be surprised by what might come out of you… these gems can begin to guide your way.

-What would it be like for every aspect of my life to feel good to me?
-What do I need to say to myself or others that I have been holding in?
-What am I going along with or agreeing to that doesn’t feel right to me any more?
-Have I been overstepping what’s true for me to please others or to feel a sense of security?
-What aspects and connections of the past am I holding onto that I’m ready to let go of?
-What would feel good and/or inspiring to be stepping into right now?
-What am I not seeing about my life that it would serve me to take a look at?
-How is my body asking to be honored at this time?

Option 3: Reading the signs

When we let the demands of ego be the driving agent in our lives our spirit will step in and give us signs indicating that we’re headed in a direction that does not match our true desires, wishes, and needs. Some of the ways these signs can show up are:

Exhaustion and stress
Complaining and blaming
Resentment, irritation, annoyance, anger
Being late and/or forgetting altogether
Sickness, injury, tension and pain in the body
Overdrawn accounts and debt
Automobile issues and tickets
Presence of animal symbols and dream messages

When we enter into a deeper dialogue with ourselves and life, virtually everything we encounter becomes a message seeking to assist us on our path.  We may get so used to the persistence of some of these signs that we forget that they are messengers with guidance for us and not permanent guest.  Conversely, sometimes we hear the message but aren’t willing to really listen to it for fear of how this information may threaten the familiarity of our current identity and lifestyle structure.  If this is the case, it’s time to get honest with yourself about who within you is calling the shots and how you may be under the spell of ego manipulation that’s seeking to keep you stuck.

…

“The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created - created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.” ~ John Schaar