History repeats itself.  What was continues despite our attempts to figure it out, resist, change, or control it.  We see this played out on every level of life from the global stage to our personal lives, often finding ourselves in Groundhog’s Day situations befuddled by our own unconscious repeating of the past.

Thing is, you can’t change a pattern until you see it.  So when we look at what’s going on here one of the first things that jumps out is that we each have deeply grooved patterns of reacting to life that keep us locked into identifying with and operating from who we’ve been.  We may think of ourselves in terms of the here-now but our reactions reveal the degree to which we are operating as our historical selves in the here-now, thus unwittingly dragging the past along with us.

Luckily we have the tools we need to break the spell of the past and its hold on us… it’s just a matter of practicing and developing these tools so that we can become increasingly proficient in our ability to use them.  So what are our tools?  Presence and personal responsibility.  Put another way, it’s the ability to relate to what’s happening here-now from the centered place of here-now within us (i.e. not as who we’ve been) and to own, with love, everything we’re experiencing as something that’s coming from within us and that we have choice about.

The power of presence is that it slices through ego’s manipulation of our attention and lands us directly in the simplicity and clarity of what is right now.  No drama.  No blame.  No swirliness.  Instead…  Centered.  Grounded.  Connected.  Clear.  Loving.  Ready.  Presence is like turning on a light in a dimly lit room or letting a jar of dirty water settle.  It separates the ego-dominated mental wheat from the authentic-self chaff.  It brings us right to the center of things and slows everything down giving us the eyes to see the cogs in the machinery of our historical selves and the space to choose how we want respond.

If presence is the key to freedom, then personal responsibility is the force that enables us to turn the key and open the door to the new.  The first step in this new direction is to own that everything we’re thinking and feeling is coming from within us.  Nobody can make us feel anything.  No circumstance can permanently shut us down.  There is nothing that happened that can silence our expression or engagement with life now.  There’s nobody to blame for anything, (especially) including ourselves.  These are all the trappings of the victim identity of the conditioned, historical self and the means through which ego manipulates us to believe that we’re powerless, without choice, and a victim to what’s happening to us.

And here is where we apply the power of personal responsibility for the truth is that we always have a choice.  We get to choose how we perceive situations and how to respond.  We get to choose where we place our attention - on what’s wrong, where we’ve been, on solutions, or where we’re headed.  We get to choose what thoughts, emotions and frequencies we generate.  We get to choose whether we’ll identify with our emotions and stories, resist them, recycle them, or let them move through us.  We get to choose who we want to be.  We always have a choice.  And our ability to choose on the side of personal responsibility and integrity depends on how present we are for when we’re present the range of choice available to us is much broader than when we’re identified with our historical selves.

Like taking apart a watch, we can only disassemble the trappings of our historical selves one step at a time and the only place to begin is where we’re at.  So look at the material life is working with you on right now.  Where is fear or a feeling of helplessness present?  This may be directly felt or hiding behind a veneer of anger, irritation, blame, or distraction.  First look at the situation as your historical self would.  Hear the familiar story, feel the familiar feelings, notice the familiar reaction.  Now get really present.  Imagine peeling off the old, wrinkled face of your historical self, as in this picture from De Es, and looking at it through the eyes of your authentic, present self.  Take every aspect of what’s going on and own the whole thing as your own.  No blame.  No projections.  No victimization.  Nobody’s right, nobody’s wrong.  Just own it - own your part, your behavior, words, projections, denials.  Let yourself feel the emotions within you and allow them to move through.  Drum.  Dance.  Yell.  Run.  Cry.  Whatever it takes - let them move through without attaching to them.  Listen to what your needs are.  Then, break the chain of historical reaction and with presence and clarity, respond.

Bring to each moment the attending awareness that this is an opportunity designed to help you become more proficient at being present and living with responsibility and integrity.  Resist nothing life brings you.  Instead welcome in and own it all.  Start anew each moment.  Free from the past, free from the past, free from the past.

Here.
Now.
Free.

Art: Facing Light by De Es

art: Red Canna by Georgia O’Keeffe

Polarized and stretched tight like a rubber band.
What you push to get to is inextricably shaped by
What you pull and contort yourself to move away from.
You can’t outrun your shadow so
Let. Go. Of. Your. Baggage.

Stop running. Face what has seemed unfaceable. The time is now!
Open the closet door and start clearing it out.
Notice all the sneaky ways you control or settle when tangled up in fear.
Wake up to ego’s manipulation and denial games.
Drop your story.
Take down your walls.
You’re safe.
Soften.
Move beyond by going through.
Yes you can do it.
Yes you can feel it.
Yes you can let it go.
One by one, forgive it all.

Life is conspiring for your success so
Drop your resistance and let life be your partner in this.
Allow challenges and where things do not come together easily to
Reveal what you have been afraid to feel.
Take heartfelt risks to meet you needs and speak up.
It is safe to be vulnerable.
Discover through experience.
A new language in you emerges that
Assists a new level of you coming online.

Forgive
Free yourself from the burden of the past.
Forgive
Free yourself from the way fear shapes you and your experience of life.
Forgive
Free to move forwards.
Forgive
Free to live your life.
Forgive
Free.

: Embodiment :

How do you generate forgiveness?

Think of something or someone that at one time in your life was a source of pain that no longer is.  How did that happen?  Because at some point you forgave them so it’s something that at least a part of you already knows how to do.  Take a moment and let yourself feel the forgiveness you feel within yourself about this person or situation.  Notice what it feels like in your body and heart.  Notice what effect it has on your thoughts.  Practice paying attention to something else and then coming back to it so you can find the “forgiveness button” inside you.  It’s there.

Set yourself free

In your meditations focus on connecting to your emotional body and letting your old feelings come up.  Let your projections and blame reveal where you need to forgive.  Consciously choose to generate forgiveness towards those who you feel hurt by, yourself, and the part of you that does not want to forgive.  Do this from your heart and do it repeatedly.  Set your intention to release the emotions that come up and avoid re-cycling them through getting overly identified with anger or asking “why?” questions.  Keep it simple - forgive.

Throughout the day take every opportunity you get to practice generating forgiveness.  Notice what you’re generating and thinking.  When you find yourself in a cul-de-sac of blame, worry, anxiety, fear or anger do two things: 1) Generate forgiveness towards who or whatever you’re focused on, yourself, and any parts of you that don’t want to forgive.  Give yourself permission to really feel what you feel, forgive, let it go, and move on with your day.  2) Pay attention and become increasingly discerning as to how ego manipulates you through fueling the fire of life-negating emotions and thoughts that relate to the baggage you’re holding onto.  Don’t get too caught up in figuring it out as that will keep you in the hands of ego but do pay attention and wake up to it’s tactics.  Once you see a pattern you can free yourself of it.

…

“As long as you keep a person down,
some part of you has to be down there to hold him down,
so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.”
- Marian Anderson

art: The Path

Embracing your shadow
letting go of what has been
with only the promise of a fulfilled, true life
and your faith in your innate gifts & talents
YOU LEAP
taking huge risks to follow your heart.

With each inch
that you move forward
new avenues appear
and the hand of Spirit
is made visible through the
support, insight, and new opportunities
that are made available to you.
Abundance is ALL around.

Meanwhile,
the worlds continue to part
between those who look in with eyes open
and those who gaze out.
Acknowledgment of what is leads to
compassion and letting go.

Everything is food for your heart…
when you see it that way.

:: Embodiment ::

1. Write a love letter to yourself from the perspective of who you will be 1 year from now. What counsel do you have to offer yourself to support who you are now to spread his/her wings wider and set your sights higher? What practical steps and actions of support do you have to suggest to who you are now to assist with this transition?

2. What do you dream of? What makes your heart sing? Put your hands on your jaw and throat and listen to your inner world. Listening is profound magic for dreams can literally come into being when there is someone listening to them.

…

“Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease and risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”
-John O’Donohue

art: Spirit Vulture by Sylvan Thorncraft

You say you don’t know,
aren’t quite clear yet,
and will figure it out later.
You put off shifting, hold onto your confusion,
and deny your resistance to the truth
as you resign yourself to
feeling stuck.

If you are willing to move forward
then open yourself to the reality that
the answers to your questions and challenges
are being broadcast to you right now.
All you need to hear this guidance
is a willingness to l-i-s-t-e-n
and let go of what you’re holding onto.

The opportunity available to each of us
is the Everyday Vision Quest
where all around you, all within you, all the time
the greater intelligence
is emanating the answers to your questions,
ever guiding you home.

Simple as that?  See for yourself.
Has there ever been a situation in your life
where there weren’t signs guiding your way?

I am
a Listener,
a Seer,
and a willing participant
in the dance of Life.
My eyes are open
and I am ready to receive
all that is here for
me to perceive!

:: Embodiment ::

1.

Take a little stroll through memory lane to explore the way the Life’s signs speak to you.

Pick a situation that has now completed itself but that that you had a difficult time getting to a place of clarity with. Look back on the time period before and during the clarity obtaining process and make a list of all the signs that came to you as Life attempted to guide you.  Make a list of the emotions you were experiencing that made it difficult to perceive and receive Life’s guidance and what this tension felt like in your body. There is a distinct feeling present in each of us when we are in resistance and are instead being influenced and perhaps deluded by our stories. This feeling is an important thing to know about yourself so you can own your emotional patterns and respond to Life’s messages with greater receptivity.  It is equally important that you become familiar with what it feels like when you are in the flow in an aligned and balanced way so look back on situations where that was present too.

2.

Run a daily experiment to strengthen your relationship with Life’s messages to you. Start the day with a question (or two) that you’d like an answer on and then slow down enough so that you can really PAY ATTENTION to what is happening around you because everything is a message. It could be a song you hear, email you receive, quote you come across, book you pick up or are given, animals around you, a random thought that pops in your head, noticing something new or different in your surroundings, a conversation or question someone brings up, persistent feeling, physical sensations, etc.  Life speaks to each of us in a unique that is meaningful to who we are. The key, of course, is to not filter your perception based on what you want to hear but to open yourself to what is actually being said.

…

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.”
~ Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV . 4 . 5

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
~Audre Lord

art: Star of the Hero 1936 by Nicholas Roerich

Like the north star
WELL BEING
Is your spirit’s north point -
a frequency that is ever guiding you
Home.

No matter what you’ve already agreed to
Either with yourself or another person
You don’t have to continue
Unless what you’re participating in
Feels truly good, meaningful, and valuable to You.

You are not on a conveyor belt.
No matter how compelling
The internal and external arguments, programs, and expectations are
To Just. Keep. Going.
You not only have permission
But are being INVITED
By Life to
STOP.
Be honest with yourself.
Assess.
Simplify.
Release what’s not working.
And re-engage in your life in a way that makes you shine with well-being.

Let it be easy -
Live your life as a reflection of who you are now
and who you want to be.

:: Embodiment ::

Option 1: Listening to and honoring your feeling body

Take a piece of paper and write down all the connections, agreements, projects, exchanges, habits, etc. in your life on small individual sheets of paper.  Place your papers face down at arm’s length in front of you.

Before proceeding bring yourself to a point of stillness and clarity through taking time to meditate.  Close your eyes, breathe deep, and if it helps, imagine yourself rooting down into the Earth, attuning to her vibration.

When you feel centered, keep your eyes closed, reach out, pick up the first sheet of paper and look at it. What’s your first reaction?  Close your eyes and scan through your body. What physical sensations do you feel? What emotions are related to these sensations? If the sensations are not what you experience as well-being, ask the parts of your body where you are experiencing sensation to tell or show you what is needed to shift this area of your life so that you can experience well-being. Be open to whatever comes, trusting your feeling body to guide you to what is most in alignment with who you are now. Write down what you noticed without any story or judgment, simply noting and acknowleding what you feel about this facet of your life.

When you’ve received what your feeling body needs to express, put the sheet of paper down, close your eyes, and come back to center. When you feel still again repeat the above process. Continue doing this until you’ve felt into all the pieces of paper you wrote on. You can break the process up or do it all at once.

When you’re complete, thank all the parts of yourself who showed up. Then, begin taking action on what came to you.

Option 2: Writing exercise

Using stream of consciousness writing, let your pen move along the paper (or fingers on the keyboard) answering one, any, or all of these questions. Let yourself be surprised by what might come out of you… these gems can begin to guide your way.

-What would it be like for every aspect of my life to feel good to me?
-What do I need to say to myself or others that I have been holding in?
-What am I going along with or agreeing to that doesn’t feel right to me any more?
-Have I been overstepping what’s true for me to please others or to feel a sense of security?
-What aspects and connections of the past am I holding onto that I’m ready to let go of?
-What would feel good and/or inspiring to be stepping into right now?
-What am I not seeing about my life that it would serve me to take a look at?
-How is my body asking to be honored at this time?

Option 3: Reading the signs

When we let the demands of ego be the driving agent in our lives our spirit will step in and give us signs indicating that we’re headed in a direction that does not match our true desires, wishes, and needs. Some of the ways these signs can show up are:

Exhaustion and stress
Complaining and blaming
Resentment, irritation, annoyance, anger
Being late and/or forgetting altogether
Sickness, injury, tension and pain in the body
Overdrawn accounts and debt
Automobile issues and tickets
Presence of animal symbols and dream messages

When we enter into a deeper dialogue with ourselves and life, virtually everything we encounter becomes a message seeking to assist us on our path.  We may get so used to the persistence of some of these signs that we forget that they are messengers with guidance for us and not permanent guest.  Conversely, sometimes we hear the message but aren’t willing to really listen to it for fear of how this information may threaten the familiarity of our current identity and lifestyle structure.  If this is the case, it’s time to get honest with yourself about who within you is calling the shots and how you may be under the spell of ego manipulation that’s seeking to keep you stuck.

…

“The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created - created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.” ~ John Schaar

It’s not that you don’t have
A home and body to take care of.
Relationships to nurture.
A multitude of things to complete, organize, and communicate.
Bills to pay.
Tentative plans already made for your upcoming future self.
Lists of what you need, want, and desire.
And a fast paced life set to the rhythm of all of the above and more.
(Phew…!)

It’s just that even
Amidst aaalllllllll this
There is a deep down yearning DESIRE
BuRsTiNg through your conscious mind’s sidewalk crack
Like a gregariously tenatious dandelion
Searching
For a way into your view
So that you can know a fuller version of
Life
and you.

Everything is changing.
Let go.

Everything is changing.
You are safe.

Everything is changing.
Say yes.

Simplify as an act of dropping your resistance and
Welcoming this initiation.

Trust yourself enough to trust
What life brings you.

Accept what is and what will happen on all levels.

Allow
Receive
Be reborn
It’s all perfect
Relax.

: Embodiment :

Layer One

Clear space for what’s to come through creating order with what’s currently on your plate. To go about this, make a list of all the loose ends in your life and ….. DO IT!!!  To get your creative juices flowing try on the following categories to get the ball a’rollin’.

-Things to do at home and/or for your home
-Things to do out
-Things to return or retrieve
-Projects to complete
-Things to get rid of that no longer reflect who you are or who you are becoming
-Finances: bills to pay, money to repay or retrieve, debt to clarify, balance bank account, receipts, taxes, etc.
-Communications to be resolved, clarified, and/or renegotiated with others
-Support to be sought to aid your process - physically, psychologically, emotionally, etc.
-People/moments to be forgiven &/or released
-Things you need to get/do for yourself you’ve been meaning to get to

Layer Two

What are the passions you’ve laid aside throughout your life for one reason or another? What did you dream of doing when you were a child, a teen, a young adult? Were there things you tried but “failed” at and gave up on? Are there things you long to do but have told yourself “that’s not who I am or that’s not what I do” enough times that you actually believe it? Do you surround yourself with people who are all interested in some particular thing that you have decided is what “they” do but is not what you do? Is there something you are already doing that you feel a desire to take further but you’re not sure how to go about it? What do you wish came “easily” to you that you think doesn’t? If there was no such thing as fear, shame, responsibility, or judgment, what might you be interested in then??  If any of these questions spark your interest, write on them and see what comes!

Layer Three

Pay attention to the signs and opportunities you’re given in the next month to six weeks. As you clear space note what you attract but don’t grasp or rush towards anything just yet. Listen for the YES!!!  and trust that you’ll 100% KNOW when the next piece has arrived.  At the same time continue participating in the manifestation of this energy by clearing, dreaming, visioning, and listening.

…

“We are so anxious to achieve some particular end that we never pay attention to the psycho-physical means whereby that end is to be gained. So far as we are concerned, any old means is good enough. But the nature of the universe is such that ends can never justify the means. On the contrary, the means always determine the end.”
-Aldous Huxley

art: Deborah Koff-Chapin

What is the seed of
Creation
That, like a wild growing
Vine, has stealthfully crawled
Its way into your
View?

It is a complementary energy
That will bring you greater balance, joy, and fulfillment.

It is a new door
That will give you insight into areas you are ready to
Have a fuller, embodied understanding of.

It is a pathway
Leading to the manifestation of an essential piece of your
Fulfilled Life Vision.

Whatever it is
BEGIN.

Roll up your
Sleeves, put your hands into the dirt
Of your life’s garden,
Take out anything that is no longer
Thriving, and,
With childlike openness to what
P o s s i b i l i t i e s
Your actions may open, begin planting
What makes your heart
Truly
SING!

You are ready and have all you need
To bring this inspiration into form.

BEGIN!

: Embodiment :

What have you been chewing on, contemplating, wondering about, and/or desiring? Is there a part of your life that you feel drawn to bring your creative attention to in order to give it wings? Is there something you have been wanting to manifest in order to increase your sense of fulfillment? Where have the sparks of synchronicity, passion, knowing, and excitement shown up in your life lately as little hints from Life to begin c-r-e-a-t-i-n-g?!

If you are clear on what this is for you - proceed! If you’re not perhaps it’s time to ask yourself:

*What area of my life NEEDS my attention the most?
*What do I desire in life?
*What gives my life passion, purpose, pleasure, meaning, and joy given who I am now?
*If there were a bridge connecting what makes me excited about life with my work making them into ONE thing, what might that be?

While in this inquiry, pay attention to your dreams and before going to sleep at night ask that your dreams reveal your spirit and heart’s desires and notice what begins to show itself to you. Additionally, pay attention to synchronicity and things that excite you and make you feel more alive … these are all openings to life-affirming possibilities!

Recommended Reading: The Artists Way by Julia Cameron & Making Your Creative Dreams Real by SARK.

…

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.” ~ Martha Graham

“Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” ~ Goethe

“The only joy in the world is to begin.” ~ Cesare Pavese

art: Morning Star by Alphone Mucha

This is a period of revisiting the past
Seeing it through the fresh, wise eyes
Of who you are now,
Coming to terms with what has been,
Completing agreements and conditionings
That have impacted your sense of self,
Saying goodbye to dreams
That no longer reflect who you are,
Closing the door on stories, patterns, and connections that do not serve,
Releasing the power your previously established reality has had on you,
and reclaiming your life as your own.

Truly, there is nothing that has happened
That needs to be carried forth with you any longer.
Instead, think of each of these past situations
As soul-level learning lessons
and distill each of them down to their
Essence of learning.
What wisdom did you gain?
What did you learn about yourself & the nature of Life?
How has your heart been opened to Love?

In consciously releasing “the story” and coming to rest
On the foundation of the wisdom you have gained
You free yourself from being the byproduct or victim of your history and
Initiate yourself into being
The Creator of your life (!!!) -
A wise, empowered, clear-seeing being
Who views all that has been
as a gift
Given to you to strengthen your alignment.
So let go of your baggage and walk through the door that
Is wide open for you to move directly towards
Your spirit and heart’s fulfillment.

It is a m-i-g-h-t-y delicate art to take down the structures of
What happened, how things were and are, and
Who I am
Without blaming the other players.
It is even a more delicate art to do this and
Keep your heart open to loving and allowing the
Full range of emotion within you.

So practice and
Become a bit more proficient each day
in letting go of your baggage
And setting yourself free.

You are ready.
The time is now.

Reclaim.

:: Embodiment ::

What is the wisdom I’ve gained?

A writing exercise: On a sheet of paper, list of all the major mistakes, failures, heartbreaks, grievances, accusations, stories, etc. you have about your life.  Circle your top 5.  Under each of these, write what you learned from these experiences. To do this, you may need to open it up into a brainstorming session. Likely from any given situation you learned a lot of different things about yourself so begin to write all that down. As you sit with the pieces you will see that there will be 1 or 2 points of learning for each situation that are the main, deep, core lessons that encapsulate the rest and are the soul-level learning of the experience (i.e. I am only fulfilled when I honor my true desires, I will abandon myself for love, I am always safe even when I am not safe). You will likely begin to see some recurrent patterns, as if your spirit has been attempting to learn the same lesson in situation after situation. You may also notice patterns within the patterns.

I am ready to let go.

A spoken exercise: You may have people or situations in your life you have a lot of emotional charge around that you’re unsure how to create closure with. These may be people or situations you can’t talk to directly and you’re going to need to create closure within yourself. Likely you will not have to think very hard on who or what this is for you - just pause for a moment and notice who or what comes to mind.

When you are alone and feel free to speak aloud without being heard or disturbed, take 10 small pieces of paper and write the name of 1 of the people you want to create closure with on each of the 10 pieces of paper. Set your intention (peaceful resolution, closure, completion, forgiveness, etc.) and place 1 of the pieces of paper in front of you and say to it EVERYTHING you have ever wanted to say to this person. Say it all, don’t hold anything back, let whatever’s within you come OUT! When you’re done crumple up the piece of paper and set it aside. Then take the 2nd piece of paper and do the same thing, allowing whatever comes up for you in the moment to be expressed. When you’re done, crumple the paper up and set it aside. Continue this with all 10 pieces of paper allowing each time you put a new piece of paper in front of you to be like you’re peeling back and letting go of a layer of what you’ve been holding onto. When you are done with all 10 pieces of paper, throw them all away, consider your intention met, and let it go.

Cleaning House

Look at the all the various aspects of your life and ask yourself:
Does this reflect who I’ve been or does this reflect who I’m becoming?

In looking at the pieces of your life through this lens you begin to give yourself permission to recreate your life so that it reflects and is in alignment with who you are now. Aspects that no longer serve can be released and those that feel honoring can be built upon. Remember: You are the creator of your life and every part of your life is your creation to do with as serves you highest good.

…

Conditioning is working hard to ruin your life.
You must work at least as hard not to let it.
- Cheri Huber

The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes,
but in having new eyes.
- Marcel Proust

I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere
Because where I am folded,
There, I am a lie.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

art: TranceDance by Willow Arlenea

Fear of missing out and not enough,
Fear of being abandoned and/or rejected,
Fear that how things are or how you are
Is not how it should be,
Fear that you won’t be supported if you follow your heart
All keep your attention
Focused on
FEAR.

Due to the nature of focus
You can only focus on
ONE THING AT A TIME.
If you are paying attention to fear,
And its struggle, lack, comparison, not enough, hurry mantras,
Guess what you are not able to pay attention to?

Love.

Despite every ‘reasonable’ thing fear will tell you,
There is nothing to long for or struggle against.
All your needs are met and
Everything is available.
There is enough time, money, opportunity, etc.
Everything is absolutely simple and perfect right in this moment so

Rrrreeeeellllaaaaxxxxxx.

This is the empowerment opportunity available in free will:
You can choose which viewfinder you look at life through and, in doing so,
You choose which account you ‘pay’ your attention to:
Love or Fear.

So, invest in love and
Fertilize your dreams
Into a state of ripeness
Such that their manifestation, and the process leading up to it,
Will hit the empowered mark of fulfillment.

:: Embodiment ::

If the choice of focusing on and living from fear or love is yours, how do you go about discerning which one you’re attuning to (for as we all know fear is very clever at seeming reasonable and right)?

Your body is a vibrational instrument that attunes to and generates the frequency of what you place your attention on.  Through learning to pay attention to its signals, or sensations, it will tell you everything you need to know about what frequency, fear or love, you’re tuned into. To experience this, do this following experiment:

Sit down, close your eyes and breathe into your body for a few breaths.  Then, intentionally think about what’s going on in your life in a worried or stressed way.  This may feel easy or you may need to egg it on a bit.  Either way is fine.  Let this go on while you pay attention to what it feels like in your body, on both a physical and emotional level, to think this way, to ‘pay’ your attention to this frequency.   Experiment with thinking about various different topics in this way, clarifying what sensations are present in your head and body when you do this.  When you are done, open your eyes and shake it off.  Write down what you noticed.

Then, close your eyes and breathe deeply into your body once more.  This time breathe into your belly and heart imagining that you’re dropping your center of attention, like a dunk tank, into your heart and core and consciously generate love.  If it helps, think of someone, something, or a moment where you felt immense love and let yourself feel that feeling in your body as strongly as you can.  Whatever you need to help you connect to the frequency of love is fine.  When you have this going, notice what it feels like in your head and body and how this differs from what it feels like when you were attuning to fear.  When you feel anchored into this frequency take the same topics you focused on with fear and ask your heart to respond to them.  As you listen keep your attention focused on your heart and core by breathing into them.  When you’re done open your eyes and write down what you noticed. What does love feel like in your body? What sensations are present? How does the quality of information differ from that of fear?

Through doing and practicing this you are creating an embodied map of your consciousness which will allow you to make informed choices as to which station, fear or love, you want to focus on and thus “pay” your attention, your life force, to. In your meditations do nothing but let your breath and attention focus on love. In your daily life, practice walking around remaining connected to your heart, feeling your legs grounded as you walk and your heart’s presence in your body. Consciously choose to speak from love. In all of these scenarios, when your attention drifts back to frequencies of fear (worry, lack/not enough, doubt, comparison, blame, etc.), hit the restart button by breathing into your heart, generating your frequency of love, and bring your center of attention to your heart.

Like anything, this is a practice.  Don’t seek perfection - that will only get you frustrated and feed the fires of fear.  Instead seek to become more proficient.  The more your focused attention traverses the trail of love, the clearer and more accessible this path will become.

…

BEFORE THE LAW
by Franz Kafka

Before the law sits a gatekeeper.  To this gatekeeper comes a man from the country who asks to gain entry into the law.   But the gatekeeper says that he cannot grant him entry at the moment.   The man thinks about it and then asks if he will be allowed to come in later on.  “It is possible,” says the gatekeeper, “but not now.”   At the moment the gate to the law stands open, as always, and the gatekeeper walks to the side, so the man bends over in order to see through the gate into the inside.  When the gatekeeper notices that, he laughs and says: “If it tempts you so much, try it in spite of my prohibition.  But take note: I am powerful. And I am only the most lowly gatekeeper.   But from room to room stand gatekeepers, each more powerful than the other.  I can’t endure even one glimpse of the third.”   The man from the country has not expected such difficulties: the law should always be accessible for everyone, he thinks, but as he now looks more closely at the gatekeeper in his fur coat, at his large pointed nose and his long, thin, black Tartar’s beard, he decides that it would be better to wait until he gets permission to go inside.  The gatekeeper gives him a stool and allows him to sit down at the side in front of the gate.  There he sits for days and years.  He makes many attempts to be let in, and he wears the gatekeeper out with his requests.  The gatekeeper often interrogates him briefly, questioning him about his homeland and many other things, but they are indifferent questions, the kind great men put, and at the end he always tells him once more that he cannot let him inside yet.  The man, who has equipped himself with many things for his journey, spends everything, no matter how valuable, to win over the gatekeeper.  The latter takes it all but, as he does so, says, “I am taking this only so that you do not think you have failed to do anything.”   During the many years the man observes the gatekeeper almost continuously.  He forgets the other gatekeepers, and this one seems to him the only obstacle for entry into the law.   He curses the unlucky circumstance, in the first years thoughtlessly and out loud, later, as he grows old, he still mumbles to himself.   He becomes childish and, since in the long years studying the gatekeeper he has come to know the fleas in his fur collar, he even asks the fleas to help him persuade the gatekeeper.  Finally his eyesight grows weak, and he does not know whether things are really darker around him or whether his eyes are merely deceiving him.  But he recognizes now in the darkness an illumination which breaks inextinguishably out of the gateway to the law.   Now he no longer has much time to live.   Before his death he gathers in his head all his experiences of the entire time up into one question which he has not yet put to the gatekeeper.   He waves to him, since he can no longer lift up his stiffening body.  The gatekeeper has to bend way down to him, for the great difference has changed things to the disadvantage of the man. “What do you still want to know, then?” asks the gatekeeper. “You are insatiable.”   “Everyone strives after the law,” says the man, “so how is that in these many years no one except me has requested entry?”   The gatekeeper sees that the man is already dying and, in order to reach his diminishing sense of hearing, he shouts at him, “Here no one else can gain entry, since this entrance was assigned only to you.   I’m going now to close it.

art: Rooted in Reverence, Seated in Spirit by Mara Friedman

Murky waters and loose ends dangle as this cycle is about to come to a close.

Sitting at the water’s edge, the
Self you’ve been avoiding
Gazes back up at you
Saying Here I am!
Resist me and I will persist.
Turn towards me, include me and I will shift.

In quiet moments your heart longs so deeply you’re
Stopped dead in your tracks, doubled over with a desire
Words can not, dare not, touch…
For intimacy and connection, to see and be seen, to love and be loved,
To create and feel superbly, fabulously, gloriously alive!   Whether
You’re in partnership or not, this longing is always there
In the core of your heart, calling you
HOME.

Your heart’s longing beckons you forward like a sherpa
Who guides you on how to walk AND clear your path. You come to
Realize that what’s in the way IS the way and the clearing IS the walking.

So,
Don’t nod your head, tell me you understand, and that everything’s
“Pretty much fine.”  Instead, show me where you fall in familiar holes,
Bring me the emotions that come up for you when you’re in those places,
Talk to me about the compromises you make with yourself and others,
The places where you contract, retract, blame, fight back
and THEN we’ll begin.

The call to go home, to be held in God’s hand,
Is awakening within you. A love like this is 100% guaranteed to be
Messy so don’t resist - what’s in the way is the way
To answering your heart’s longing of
Creating a life that is a face to your faceless self.

: Embodiment :

A writing exercise. Let the answers to these questions flow from you in a stream of conscious manner. Without editing, write down whatever comes from you. Allow yourself to be surprised by yourself and only re-read your answers when you’re done with all of it. You can choose all or a part of these questions to address.

What does your heart ache for? What calls you home? What, where, or who makes you feel totally relaxed, where every cell in your body softens into a state of ease? What is it about __ that makes you feel this way? When you’re in that space, what do you dream of experiencing, doing, being, etc. and what feels available to you that may not feel as available in your daily life?

Where are you falling in familiar holes right now? What have you attracted into your life (perhaps, yet again) that’s confronting for you? What feelings and reactions does this bring up? What’s the part of you that needs to get your attention and only knows how to do it through bringing these circumstances into your life? What does this part of you need from You so that it can feel safe and loved and relaxed? What are you avoiding feeling or would rather not have to deal with right now? How do you resist your emotions and what effect does this have? How does fear play into this?  Is this your fear?  Is what the fear says true?

How can you use what opens and expands your heart to support the vulnerable, emotionally reactive, and fearful parts of you? If you could see and hear your sherpa guiding you right now on the path of your heart’s longing, how would s/he be directing you?

…

POEM IN FIVE CHAPTERS
By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost — I am helpless — it isn’t my fault. . . . .
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place —- but it isn’t my fault. . . .
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . . It is a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.